Family life is messy and complicated, and counseling individuals and couples on sensitive marital and family issues can be emotionally traumatic for a client. For those reasons and more, marriage and family therapists must undergo rigorous training and pass exams before they can earn their licenses and graduate.
Despite the many obstacles, Dr. Bridget Duncan, DMFT ’26, cleared them all and is now busy sharing her knowledge with the world through books.
Last year, Dr. Duncan launched her first volume, titled “Stop Dyeing Red Flags Pink: Your Roadmap to Healthy, Balanced Relationships.” She has now published her second title, a study on how parents can impact their children given the provocative title “What if Your Mother was Wrong?: Rethinking the Beliefs that have Shaped Your Life.”
Dr. Duncan said the provocation in the title given to her newest book is deliberate.
“I know the title is controversial,” she shared in an interview. “What if my mom was wrong? I didn’t say she was, but it’s an invitation. What if she was? You know, not necessarily meaning she was, but it’s inviting the adult child to now question that.”
Duncan said her first book was inspired by conversations with her academic advisor while enrolled in Chaminade University’s Doctorate of Marriage and Family Therapy. Her latest book, she said, derives from her professional practice and interaction with clients. She said it is often surprising the extent to which the earliest childhood interactions with our parents can influence us well into adulthood.
“How does our system affect us and impact us, and what system are we in originally, is that home system, and usually in that early formative time, it’s usually the mom, typically the mom,” she explained. “So the book is to encourage people.”
In other words, Dr. Duncan said her newest book is an invitation to readers who may be struggling with past familial issues or trauma to recognize how our parents, especially our mothers, may be contributing to emotionally challenging states of mental health.
“What if my mom was wrong about loyalty, obligation, who am I, what I’m owed?” she said. “Maybe I can rethink that, and rethink who I am through a different lens.”
The life of a Chaminade DMFT student
Dr. Duncan holds two degrees in psychology and an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy (MSMFT). She continued working full-time as a practicing therapist while completing her three-year doctoral program at Chaminade University, the only program of its kind in Hawaii.
She even spent a year in Thailand.
While all of that was going on, she decided to write her first book.
Dr. Duncan looks back fondly at her time at Chaminade because it kept her busy–her work, her studies, her writing all saved her from boredom.
She acknowledged that Chaminade’s Doctor of Marriage and Family Therapy (DMFT) program is rigorous. Still, she said it was the right fit for her given how she knew the demands of her field and how the program at Chaminade is up to the challenge of training professional therapists of the highest caliber.
“You really had to know how to be determined, resilient, to be able to manage your time,” she said.
As she shared last year, Duncan was inspired to dive into book authorship during a conversation with her then academic advisor, Dean Dale Fryxell. At the time, she was telling him what she thought of the tendency of her clients to gloss over obvious “red flags” or warning signs that can reveal themselves in relationships of all sorts.
The euphemism she used to describe this phenomenon was “dyeing red flags pink.” Dr. Fryxell told her that phrase would make a great title for a book. She ran with the idea.
Now that she’s been bitten by the writing bug, Dr. Duncan said anyone interested in marriage and family therapy will see more to come.
Her new book “What if Your Mother Was Wrong?” is on sale now. Two more books are coming, and Duncan let slip that she has no intention of singling out mom. She’s already planning to write two more books: “What if Your Father Was Wrong?” and “What if Your Family Was Wrong?”
“I’m already working on book three,” she said. “So many people like, well, what about your father, Bridget? So I’ve already started the outline.”
Writing books, Duncan says, is a way for her to keep motivated, to keep moving, to keep learning, and to constantly stay at the forefront of her field.
“Like I tell my clients, I can’t be everybody’s therapist, so I’m just gonna keep writing books.”
